The World Is Not A Pleasant Place To Be
by Albino Penguin
Summary: Jury and Shiori contemplate their relationship. It is only rated PG because it is shoujo ai.


The World Is Not A Pleasant Place To Be  
These are our thorns of sin | A call for an act of God   
  
Juri: "Believe in a miracle, that your wish may come true."   
That's what she always said. Whenever I was feeling down, whenever I felt like there were no options left, she'd say that to me. I never told her so, but the words stung. I know that she didn't mean to hurt me when she said them. She was always innocent. And yet, she was so cruel...   
"Believe in a miracle, that your wish may come true."   
My only wish was to be with her. And, yes, *laughs* it would take a miracle for that to happen...knowing so, I believed. I believed with all my heart and soul...but my wish never came true. Hmpf. I guess that that just goes to show you the power of miracles. I don't believe in miracles anymore. Not since that day...that day when she broke my heart.   
  
Shiori: "Believe in a miracle, that your wish may come true."   
That's what I always said. Why did I say it? To tell you the truth, I'm really not quite sure.   
"That your wish may come true."   
What was my wish? I always wanted to be appreciated. It sounds cruel, I know, but that never happened when I was around her. But I don't blame her for it. I don't blame her for being so beautiful, for shining so brilliantly. It's just that when you're right behind, right next to, so close to something that shines so brightly, you can't help but stand in the shadows cast by the light. In a way, I hated her for it. Why couldn't she think that maybe I wanted to shine, too?! I could be just as good as she, shine just as bright as she did, but I never got the chance.   
Really, that was my wish. Only to have my own chance to shine. But as long as she and I were friends, I could never do so. It would take an act of God to keep her from shining. Yes, a miracle. But it would also take an act of God to separate the two of us.   
  
Juri: Why did she go away with him? The day she did that, she broke my heart. Again, an example of how cruel her innocence was. Childlike, she fell in love with one of her best friends and went away with him. I cried so much the day that she left. The message was on my answering machine that morning. After hearing it, I couldn't go to class. I stayed in my room, shut the curtains, and cried. I hated that. I hated that I loved her. It made me weak. If anyone had seen me that day, they would have laughed. "Arisugawa? Crying? Preposterous!" And then they would laugh. Loving her was my weakness.   
Shiori: I couldn't help but be happy when she told me. After hearing those words, I wanted to scream my triumph. Finally, she had shown a weakness. No longer was she as strong as she appeared. And I was the one that controlled her heart, the one who controlled her. At last, I had a chance to be greater than her.   
...It reminds me of the time, years ago, when I left her. Then, I had thought she loved him. So happy was I at having found her 'weakness' that I tried to use it against her. I stole him away from her, thinking that the loss would snuff out her brilliance. I transferred to a different school with him, thinking that I had won.   
Now I know how wrong I was. She never loved him at all. And yet, I still managed to take her love away. I left. That's how I did it. But, even without me, she continued to shine.   
"Believe in a miracle, that your wish should come true."   
I told you that it would take a miracle to keep her from shining.   
  
Juri: My world shattered the day that she left. Not only because I was without her, but also because she left me completely alone. It was like a slap to the face when she left with him. I knew that she thought I loved him. If so, why did she get together with him? Was she trying to hurt me? What had I ever done to her that would make her do that? I had always shown kindness and concern for her.   
  
Shiori: She was so kind to me. But, deep down, I thought that she was kind to me only because she pitied me. I didn't think that anyone like her could ever want to be friends with me. How could someone so bright and beautiful want to be friends with someone so plain and useless? Was it because she loved me from the beginning?   
  
Juri: When she and I first met, I was a lonely person. Everyone kept away from me, looking at me as if I were some dangerous animal, ready to rip out their throat at any moment. Like a dragon, yes, a dragon. Beautiful, to be admired...but also so lethal. *chuckles* But, of course, she wasn't that way. She was unlike anyone else I'd met before. *smiles* She had never even heard of me.   
"Why are you crying?" she asked as I sat on the edge of the school's fountain. I looked up at her, the tears still streaming down my cheeks. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to look fierce. 'Oh, God, what if she tells everyone that she saw me crying? Everyone would think that I'm weak.'   
"Don't you know who I am, girl?" I snarled, viciously.   
"Um, should I?" She looked thoughtful, honestly trying to remember where she'd seen me before. I smiled internally.   
"I'm crying because the world is not a pleasant place to be."   
"What are you talking about? The world is a beautiful place to be. Whatever would make you say otherwise?"   
I laughed then. "How naive you are...'The world is not a pleasant place to be without someone to hold and be held by.'"   
". . . So you're crying because you're lonely."   
"My only wish is to have a friend."   
How sad we two looked then. I learned later that, at the time, she was without friendship, also. But then she smiled.   
"Then I'll be your friend!"   
She took my pale hands in her own. "No one should have to go on alone. I'll be there, by your side, always right by you. You don't have to be alone anymore!"   
And I cried then. Why? Because the world was such a kind, giving place. It had given her to me.   
"You're a miracle. You know that, right?"   
She laughed lightly.   
"Then believe in miracles, because it is your belief that will let them know your feelings. Believe in a miracle, so that your wish may come true."   
And as she held my hand in hers, a bond between the two of us formed. I wanted to kiss her right then and there. But it wasn't appropriate. She and I became best friends, but I couldn't help but want more than that as my love for her grew to excel past that of true friendship. And it was in those moments that my fate was sealed. It was throughout those days when we played as young girls that destiny decided that I would forever bear the cross of an unrequited love.   
  
Shiori: We were such close friends. Why did she have to go and ruin what we had? Despite what I did to her, I was willing to throw it all away and ask for her forgiveness. It could have gone back to the way it was. But she had to love me. You think me cruel for criticizing her emotions, don't you? I'm sorry, but it just disgusts me to think that she could look at me that way. How could someone fall for their best friend? It's like incest! We could have fixed it all if she hadn't loved me. But, alas, another call for a miracle.   
We could have fixed it all nicely if she and I hadn't been such close friends. No good. It's still no good. Another miracle to be summoned, another impossibility. And so we stand where the road ends, left only to walk back over our own tracks. Will we forever be condemned to repeating our past? Isn't there some way out of this?   
  
Juri:   
"The world is not a pleasant place  
to be without  
someone to hold and be held by  
A river would stop  
its flow if only  
a stream were there  
to receive it  
An ocean would never laugh  
if clouds weren't there  
to kiss her tears  
The world is not  
a pleasant place to be without  
someone."   
Juri: I loved you, my best friend, and that was my thorn of sin.   
Shiori: I wanted to extinguish your light, and that was my thorn of sin.   
Both: These are our thorns of sin.   
  
  
End Comments:   
Hello. I'm the writer of this little fic here. My name is Sira. The characters and story elements used in this story, though I wish they were, are not mine. They are copyrighted to Chiho Saito and Be Pa-Pas, I believe. Some elements of this story are completely original to me, and should not be taken as fact. For example, the scene between Juri and Shiori when they first meet. The poem, "The World Is Not a Pleasant Place to Be" is by Nikki Giovanni. The story's sub-title "These are our thorns of sin" is credited to the website "Cruelly Innocent."   
I wrote this, mainly, to try and show Shiori's motivations, and show that they aren't as cruel as so many seem to believe. I hope you enjoyed it and it had some effect on you. Arigatou, minna-san! *bows* 


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